OPENING MEDLEY

Anytime you're Lambeth way,
Any evening, any day,
You'll find us all doin' the Lambeth Walk.
Ev'ry little Lambeth gal
With her little Lambeth pal,
You'll find 'em all doin' the Lambeth Walk.

Ev'rything free and easy,
Do as you darn well pleasey,
Why don't you make your way there,
Go there, stay there.

Once you get down Lambeth way,
Ev'ry evening, ev'ry day,
You'll find us all doin' the Lambeth Walk.

- o -

Come, come, come and make eyes at me
Down at the old Bull and Bush.
(Dah dah dah dah dah)
Come, come, drink some port wine with me
Down at the old Bull and Bush.
Hear the little German band
(Dah de dah de dah dah dah)
Just let me hold your hand, dear.
Do, do, come and have a drink or two
Down at the old Bull and Bush. (Bush bush!)

- o -

I'm forever blowing bubbles,
Pretty bubbles in the air.
They fly so high, nearly reach the sky,
Then like my dreams they fade and die.
Fortune's always hiding,
I've looked ev'rywhere,
I'm forever blowing bubbles,
Pretty bubbles in the air.

- o -

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do!
I'm half crazy, all for the love of you!
It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage,
But you'll look sweet upon the seat
Of a bicycle made for two!

- o -

Let's all go down the Strand ('ave a banana)
Let's all go down the Strand ('ave a banana)
I'll be leader, you can march behind,
Come with me and see what we can find.
Let's all go down the Strand ('ave a banana)
Oh, what a happy band.
That's the place for fun and noise
All among the girls and boys,
So let's all go down the Strand.

- o -

Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner
That I love London so,
Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner
That I think of her wherever I go.
I get a funny feeling inside of me
Just walking up and down,
Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner
That I love London Town.

[REPEAT]

FLANAGAN AND ALLEN MEDLEY

Toodle-luma-luma, toodle-luma-luma, toodle-eye-ay
Any umbrellas, any umbrellas to fix today?
Bring your parasol, it may be small, it may be big;
He repairs it all with what you call a “thing-um-a-jig.”
Pitter patter patter, pitter patter patter,
It looks like rain.
Let it pitter patter, let it pitter patter,
Don’t mind the rain.
He’ll mend your umbrella then go on his way,
Singin’ “Toodle-luma-luma-toodle-ay,
Toodle-luma-luma-toodle-ay,
Any umbrellas to fix today?”

- o -

Shine on, shine on harvest moon up in the sky,
I ain't had no lovin' since January, February, June or July.
Snow time ain't no time to stay outdoors and spoon,
So shine on, shine on harvest moon,
for me and my gal.

- o -

Underneath the arches
We dream our dreams away.
Underneath the arches
On cobblestone we lay.
Ev'ry night you'll find us
Tired out and worn.
Happy when the daylight comes creeping
Heralding the dawn.

Sleeping when it's raining
And sleeping when it's fine.
I hear the trains rattle by above.
Pavement is our pillow no matter where we stray.
Underneath the arches we dream our dreams away.

- o -

Strollin', just strollin',
In the cool of the evening air,
I don't envy the rich in their automobiles,
For a motor car is phoney,
I'd rather have shanks's pony
When I'm strollin', just strollin',
With the light of the moon above,
Ev'ry night I go out strollin',
And I know my luck is rollin',
When I'm strollin', with the one ... I ... love!

THE DAD’S ARMY THEME

Who do you think you are kidding Mister Hitler,
If you think we're on the run?
We are the boys who will stop your little game,
We are the boys who will make you think again.
'Cause who do you think you are kidding Mister Hitler,
If you think old England's done?

Mister Brown goes off to town
on the eight twenty-one,
But he comes home each evening
and he's ready with his gun.
So who do you think you are kidding Mister Hitler,
If you think old England's done?

HITS FROM THE BLITZ

Bless 'em all! Bless 'em all!
The long and the short and the tall;
Bless all the sergeants and double-u-o-ones,
Bless all those Corporals and their blinkin' sons,
Cos' we're saying goodbye to 'em all.
And back to their billets they crawl,
You'll get no promotion this side of the ocean,
So cheer up, my lads bless 'em all.

Nobody knows what a twerp you’ve been,
So cheer up, my lads, bless ‘em all!

- o -

Kiss me goodnight, Sergeant Major,
Tuck me in my little wooden bed.
We all love you, Sergeant Major,
When we hear you bawling, "Show a leg!"
Don't forget to wake me in the morning,
And bring me 'round a nice hot cup of tea.
Kiss me goodnight, Sergeant Major
Sergeant Major, be a mother to me.

- o -

We're going to hang out the washing on the Siegfried Line,
Have you any dirty washing, mother dear.
We're going to hang out the washing on the Siegfried Line,
‘Cos the washing day is here.
Whether the weather may be wet or fine
We'll just rub along without a care.
We're going to hang out the washing on the Siegfried Line,
If the Siegfried Line's still there.

- o -

Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run,
Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run.
Bang, bang, bang, bang, goes the farmer’s gun,
Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run!
Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run,
Don't give the farmer his fun, fun, fun.
He'll get by without his rabbit pie.
So, run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run.

On the farm, ev’ry Friday,
On the farm, it’s rabbit pie day.
So ev’ry Friday, whatever comes along,
I get up early and sing this little song:

[REPEAT CHORUS]

THE MARROW SONG

Oh, what a beauty! I've never seen one as big as that before!
Oh, what a beauty! It must be two foot long or even more.
It’s such a lovely colour, so nice and round and fat;
I never thought a marrow could grow as big as that.
Oh, what a beauty - I've never seen one as big as that before.

HENERY THE EIGHTH, I AM

I'm Henery the Eighth, I am!
Henery the Eighth I am! I am!
I got married to the widow next door,
She's been married seven times before.
Ev'ry one was an Henery,
She wouldn't have a Willie or a Sam.
I'm her Eighth old man named Henery,
I'm Henery the Eighth, I am!

MY OLD MAN’S A DUSTMAN

Now here's a little story
To tell it is a must
About an unsung hero
That moves away your dust
Some people make a fortune
Others earn a mint
My old man don't earn much
In fact he's flippin' skint

Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat
He looks a proper ‘nana
In his great big hobnail boots
He's got such a job to pull them up
That he calls 'em daisy roots

Some folks give tips at Christmas
And some of them forget
So when he picks their bins up
He spills some on the step
Now one old man got nasty
And to the council wrote
Next time my old man went 'round there
He punched him up the throat

Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

Though my old man's a dustman
He's got an 'eart of gold
He got married recently
Though he's eighty-six years old
We said "'Ere, hang on, Dad
You're getting past your prime"
He said "Well, when you get to my age
It helps to pass the time."

Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

Now one day whilst in a hurry
He missed a lady's bin
He hadn't gone but a few yards
When she chased after him
"What game do you think you're playing?"
She cried right from the 'eart
"You've missed me, am I too late?"
"No, jump up on the cart!"

Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat

He found a tiger's head one day
Nailed to a piece of wood
The tiger looked like miserable
But I suppose he should
Just then from out a window
A voice began to wail
It said "Oi! Where's me tiger's head?"
"Four foot from his tail."

Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat
Next time you see a dustman
Looking all pale and sad
Don't kick him in the dustbin
It might be my old dad!

[How’s your father?] Alright!

MY OLD MAN (SAID FOLLOW THE VAN)

My old man said follow the van
And don't dilly-dally on the way
Off went the cart with the home packed in it
I walked behind with me old cock linnet
But I dillied and I dallied
And I dallied and I dillied
Lost the van and don't know where to roam
… I stopped on the way to have the odd half quartern
And I can't find my way home.

… Now who's going to put up the old iron bedstead?
If I ain't find my way home.

… You can't trust the specials like the old time coppers
When you can't find your way home.

SUNSHINE MEDLEY

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine,
You make me happy,
When skies are grey.
You'll never know dear,
How much I love you,
Please don't take my sunshine away.

The other night dear
As I lay dreaming,
I dreamt that you were by my side.
Came disillusion when I awoke dear,
You were gone and then I cried.

[REPEAT CHORUS]

You told me once dear there’d be no other,
And no one else could come between,
But now you’ve left me to love another,
You have broken all my dreams.

[REPEAT CHORUS]

- o -

When you're smilin’,
When you're smilin’
The whole world smiles with you.
When you're laughin',
When you're laughin'
The sun comes shinin' through.
But when you're cryin', you bring on the rain
So stop your sighin', be happy again.
Keep on smilin', 'cause when you're smilin'
The whole world smiles with you

- o -

Bring me sunshine in your smile,
Bring me laughter all the while,
In this world where we live there should be more happiness,
So much joy you can give to each brand new bright tomorrow,
Make me happy through the years.
Never bring me any tears,
Let your arms be as warm as the sun from up above,
Bring me fun, bring me sunshine, bring me love!

Bring me sunshine in your eyes,
Bring me rainbows from the skies.
Life’s too short to be spent having anything but fun.
We can be so content, if we gather little sunbeams.
Be light-hearted all day long.
Keep me singing happy songs.
Let your arms be as warm as the sun from up above,
Bring me fun, bring me sunshine, bring me love!
Bring me fun, bring me sunshine, bring me love, sweet love!
Bring me fun, bring me sunshine, bring me love!

ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES THEME

Stick a pony in me pocket
I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
Cause if you want the best 'uns
And you don't ask questions
Then brother I'm your man
Where it all comes from is a mystery
It's like the changing of the seasons
and the tides of the sea
But here’s the one thats driving me berserk:
Why do only fools and horses work?

La la la la la la la la la la etc.

We've got some half priced cracked ice
And miles and miles of carpet tiles
TV's, deep freeze and David Bowie LP's
Pool games, gold chains, wosisnames and at a push
Some Trevor Francis track-suits
From a mush in Shepherds Bush,
Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush

No income tax, no VAT
No money back, no guarantee
Black or white, rich or broke
We'll cut prices at a stroke
God bless Hooky Street
Viva Hooky Street
Long live Hooky Street
C'est magnifique Hooky Street
Magnifique Hooky Street

COCKNEY MUSICALS MEDLEY

Consider yourself at home,
Consider yourself one of the family
We've taken to you so strong.
It's clear we're going to get along.
Consider yourself well in,
Consider yourself part of the furniture
There isn't a lot to spare;
Who cares? What ever we've got we share!

If it should chance to be we should see some harder days,
Empty larder days, why grouse?
Always chance we'll meet somebody to foot the bill,
Then the drinks are on the house!
Consider yourself our mate,
We don't want to have no fuss.
For after some consideration we can state:
Consider yourself one of us.

- o -

All I want is a room somewhere,
Far away from the cold night air,
With one enormous chair;
Oh, wouldn't it be loverly?
Lots of choc'late for me to eat;
Lots of coal makin' lot of heat;
Warm face, warm hands, warm feet
Oh, wouldn't it be loverly?

Oh, so loverly sittin' absobloomin'lutely still!
I would never budge 'til spring crept over the window sill.
Someone's head restin' on my knee,
Warm and tender as he can be;
Who takes good care of me,
Oh, wouldn't it be loverly?
Loverly! Loverly! Loverly! Loverly!

- o -

All lined up in a wedding group
'Ere we are for a photograph
All dressed up in a morning suit and trying not to laugh
Since the early caveman in his fur
Took a trip to Gretna Green
There's always been a photographer
To record the happy scene.

Hold it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
Poor old soul, blimey, what a joke
Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke
Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet
Bangin' on the big bass drum
What a picture, what a picture
Rum-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your fam'ly album

- o -

I'm getting married in the morning
Ding! Dong! The bells are gonna chime.
Pull out the stopper; Let's have a whopper;
But get me to the church on time!

I’ve gotta be there in the morning
Spruced up and looking in my prime.
Girls, come and kiss me; Show how you'll miss me,
But get me to the church on time!

If I am dancing, roll up the floor!
If I am whistling, whewt me out the door!
For I'm getting married in the morning
Ding! Dong! The bells are gonna chime.
Kick up a rumpus, But don't lose the compass;
And get me to the church,
Get me to the church,
For gawd's sake, get me to the church on time!

- o -

They changed our local Palais
into a bowling alley and
Fings ain't what they used t' be
There's Teds wiv drainpipe trousers
And Debs in coffee houses and
Fings ain't what they used t' be

It used to be fun Dad an' old Mum
paddling down Southend
But now it ain't done
Never mind chum
Paris is where we spend our outin's
Grandma tries to shock us all
Doing knees up rock 'n' roll
Fings ain't wot they used t' be

- o -

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Even though the sound of it
Is something quite atrocious,
If you say it loud enough
You'll always sound precocious,
Supercalifragilisticexpiali docious!

Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay

Because I was afraid to speak
When I was just a lad,
Me father gave me nose a tweak
And told me I was bad!
But then one day I learned a word
that saved me achin' nose,
The biggest word you ever heard
And this is how it goes:

[REPEAT CHORUS]

- o -

There's a little ditty
They're singing in the city
Especially when they've been on the gin or the beer.
If you've got the patience,
Your own imaginations
Will tell you just exactly what you want to hear...

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
That's how it goes,
Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!
Ev'ryone knows.
They all suppose what they want to suppose
When they hear...oom-pah-pah!!

Mister Percy Snodgrass
Would often have the odd glass,
But never when he thought anybody could see.
Secretly he'd buy it,
And drink it on the quiet,
And dream he was an Earl wiv a girl on each knee!

[REPEAT CHORUS]

SING-A-LONG CLASSICS OF THE FUTURE?

Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away

Mama, ooh,
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on
As if nothing really matters

- o -

In the town where I was born
Lived a man who sailed to sea
And he told us of his life
In the land of submarines

So we sailed up to the sun
'Til we found a sea of green
And we lived beneath the waves
In our yellow submarine

We all live in a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
We all live in a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

- o -

Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings
Of the bluebird as she sings
The six-o'clock alarm would never ring
But it rings and I rise
Wipe the sleep out of my eyes
The shaving razor's cold and it stings

Cheer up sleepy Jean
Oh, what can it mean to a
Daydream believer and a
Homecoming queen?

[REPEAT]

- o -

Where it began, I can't begin to knowing
But then I know it's growing strong
Was in the Spring
Then Spring became the summer
Who'd have believed you'd come along

Hands, touching hands
Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Sweet Caroline
Good times never seemed so good
I'd be inclined
To believe they never would

[REPEAT CHORUS]

- o -

When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next you
When I go out, yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you

If I get drunk, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if I haver, yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

Da da da (da da da)
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da

[REPEAT CHORUS]

- o -

Sha la la la la la la la
Sha la la la la la la la
Sha la la la la la la la

When the day is dawning
On a Texas Sunday Morning
How I long to be there
With Marie who's waiting for me there
Every lonely city
Where I hang my hat
Ain't as half as pretty
As where my baby's at

Is this the way to Amarillo?
Every night I've been hugging my pillow
Dreaming dreams of Amarillo
And sweet Marie who waits for me

Show me the way to Amarillo
I've been weeping like a willow
Crying over Amarillo
And sweet Marie who waits for me

Sha la la la la la la la
Sha la la la la la la la
Sha la la la la la la la
And Marie who waits for me

[REPEAT CHORUS]

PATRIOTIC MEDLEY

When Britain first, at Heaven's command,
Arose from out the azure main,
Arose, arose, arose from out the azure main,
This was the charter, the charter of the land,
And guardian angels sang this strain:

"Rule, Britannia! Brittania, rule the waves;
Britons never will be slaves."
"Rule, Britannia! Brittania, rule the waves;
Britons never will be slaves."

- o -

There'll always be an England
While there's a country lane.
Wherever there's a cottage small beside a field of grain.
There'll always be an England
While there's a busy street;
Wherever there's a turning wheel, a million marching feet.

- o -

It's a long way to Tipperary,
It's a long way to go.
It's a long way to Tipperary,
To the sweetest girl I know!
Goodbye Piccadilly,
Farewell, Leicester Square,
It's a long, long way to Tipperary,
But my heart's right there!

- o -

Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile.
While you've a lucifer to light your fag.
Smile, boys, that's the style.
What's the use of worrying?
It never was worthwhile.
So, pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile.

- o -

Land of hope and glory, mother of the free,
How shall we extol thee, who are born of thee?
Wider still and wider shall thy bounds be set;
God, who made thee mighty, make thee mightier yet,
God, who made thee might, make thee mightier yet.

- o -

We'll meet again don't know where, don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day.
Keep smilin' through just like you always do,
Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away.
So will you please say hello to the folks that I know,
Tell them I won't be long.
They'll be happy to know that as you saw me go
I was singing this song.
We'll meet again don't know where, don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day.

KNEES UP MEDLEY

I’ve just been to a “ding-dong”
down dear old Brixton way,
Old Mother Brown the Pearly Queen’s
a hundred years today;
Oh! What a celebration!
Was proper lah-di-dah!
Until they roll’d the carpet up
and shouted “Nah then, Ma!”

Knees up Mother Brown!
Knees up Mother Brown!
Under the table you must go
Ee-i-ee-i-ee-i-oh!
If I catch you bending
I’ll saw your leg right off.
So, knees up, knees up!
Don’t get the breeze up
Knees up Mother Brown.

Joe brought his concertina,
and Nobby brought the beer,
And all the little nippers
swung upon the chandelier!
A black-out warden passin’ yell’d,
“Ma, pull down that blind,
Just look at what you’re showin’“
and we shouted “Never mind!”

[REPEAT CHORUS]

Oh, my, what a rotten song.
What a rotten song, what a rotten song.
Oh, my, what a rotten song
And what a rotten singer too!

- o -

There is a tavern in the town, in the town,
And there my dear love sits him down, sits him down
And drinks his wine 'mid laughter free,
And never, never thinks of me.
Fare thee well, for I must leave thee,
Do not let the parting grieve thee,
And remember that the best of friends must part, must part

Adieu, adieu, kind friends, adieu, adieu, adieu,
I can no longer stay with you, stay with you,
I'll hang my harp on a weeping willow tree,
And may the world go well with thee.

- o -

Roll out the barrel
We'll have a barrel of fun.
Roll out the barrel
We've got the blues on the run.
Zing! Boom! Ta-rar-rel!
Ring out a song of good cheer.
Now's the time to roll the barrel
For the gang's all here.

[REPEAT]

GOODBYE MEDLEY

Good-byee! Good-byee
Wipe the tear, baby dear, from your eye-ee.
Tho' it's hard to part, I know,
I'll be tickled to death to go.
Don't cry-ee! Don't sigh-ee!
There's a silver lining in the sky-ee.
Bonsoir, old thing! Cheerio! Chin-chin!
Nah-poo! Toodle-oo! Good-byee!

- o -

Show me the way to go home,
I'm tired and I want to go to bed,
I had a little drink about an hour ago,
And it's gone right to my head.
Where-ever I may roam,
On land, or sea, or foam,
You can always hear my singing this song,
Show me the way to go home.

- o -

Once upon a time there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours
And dreamed of all the great things we would do

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
Those were the days,
Oh, yes those were the days

Then the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our starry notions on the way
If by chance I'd see you in the tavern
We'd smile at one another and we'd say

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
Those were the days,
Oh, yes those were the days

Just tonight I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely woman really me?

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
Those were the days,
Oh, yes those were the days

Through the door there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
Those were the days,
Oh, yes those were the days